A Message from John Kerry

Do you miss John Kerry? Yeah, neither do we. But Kerry misses you and has released this video called “Give Voice to Our Values.”

If you’re driving or operating heavy machinery and don’t want to risk mixing that with a Kerry speech, let The Yellow Line summarize.

“We face a lot of challenges. Namely Republicans. Republicans are bad. Delay. Frist. Satan. All Republicans. We should fight them. Fight them hard. Stand up for what we value. Which is, of course—and I don’t mean to digress but I am John Kerry and I’ve never met a clause I didn’t want to embrace or at least take out for fine wine, maybe a little sailing or some skiing in Montana with its beautiful vistas. And its Republicans. Lots of Republicans in Montana. Republicans who are ruining this country. Just trashing it. We value their defeat. Really, really value their defeat. And healthcare. Healthcare and the end to Republicanism. Those are our values. Support our values. I’m John Kerry.”