Monday, March 28, 2005

A Modest Social Security Proposal

Everyone knows that the problem with Social Security is the impending retirement of Baby Boomers. But here’s something that’s not getting covered: this crisis is their fault.

Think about it: the idea of Social Security is that each successive generation pays for the retirement benefits of their parent’s generation. Should work fine—except the Boomers didn’t have enough children! Yeah, so the generation that gave us the culture wars, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush has also stuck us with a big ole’ social security problem.

Know what I say? Any Boomer who was too busy singing folk songs and not inhaling to have children can forfeit their social security benefits. Let them live off all the diaper money and college tuition they never had to spend.

Isn’t that American politics today? Instead of solving a problem we find a scapegoat? Well, who better than the ever-blamable Boomers?

Note: Before any angry letters start to fly, The Yellow Line would like to point out that this is a satire. We all know the real culprit in the Social Security mess is the Greatest Generation. Did they have to have that many children? Jeez.


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